So once again, I’m going to be that person that I use to hate telling you that it can get better. Its hard to explain how it happened, and I won’t even try to start from the beginning right now, but I do know that the anti-depressants are working. It is SO amazing to feel *normal*. I still have dark thoughts, but they are completely manageable. It feels so surreal to actually have energy, to have a genuine smile on my face, to want to see my friends, to look at my body and appreciate the good parts, and think positively about the bad. I wake up in the morning and am happy and excited about the day, not crying because I didn’t die in my sleep. It feels like another person is talking right now because I literally cannot remember a time before this when I was not suicidal or seriously depressed. I use to have horrible nightmares every night, I wasn’t able to go a day without cutting, I cried every day. I was a miserable wreck who could not function in any way. I want you to know that I would see posts like these and cry because I thought I would never get to a point where I was happy. I didn’t even know it was possible. When you read this, know that there is hope. It might take a really long time for you to be ok with yourself, or learn how to manage not being ok with yourself, but being happy actually is a thing. It feels good, and you deserve it. Please talk to me or someone about what you are going through. Make the choice to start making changes that will get you to a better place. I love you all!
@11 months ago
#update #happy #personal